There is no avoiding the reality of life-even when you are de-toxing. I was thankful for a few days of rest (which really meant a couple hours laying on the couch each day). But even with more hours in the kitchen preparing good food, rest, and time spent leaning into what this experience is trying to teach me I still had the unavoidable distractions that remind me that I’m not in control.
I always thought I’d write a book or share publicly in some way my thoughts on food, birth or community. But really-that’s already been done. When I think through what I’ve really learned over the last couple of years-it’s how to keep on keepin’ on when they show up. You know who I’m talking about-the adult bullies. The folks who use intimidation, fear, power, social rules, greed “insert any negative intent here” to hold people like me (and maybe people like you) down. They take our dreams and try to figure out why they won’t work, they use words that crush our spirit, they point out our faults, they “keep us in our place” and the most difficult thing is they try to get others to join them so they appear more powerful. If we aren’t careful they can make us scared of our own shadow and bring up terrible memories from the childhood playground. So if I sum up what I’ve really been doing the last couple of years it would be overcoming my fear of adult bullies so that I could have the courage to follow my calling. Because the only way to receive the true success that comes once you have hope, love, respect, dignity and the determination to follow your path is to care about others who are being held down. This realization has brought up a lot for me this week.
We’ve been in a fast paced, full speed ahead sort of place the last few years. One of my good friends recently said, “I hope that God brings you rest soon.” My initial response was to think that I’m not allowed to rest-there is too much to do, too many things to change. Thankfully, another friend reminds me frequently that “I’m not that important”. Those words bring me comfort as I realize that my calling is to lift others up, help them get plugged in and play matchmaker for community partners. In many ways it is time for me to step back in a lot of areas and let others move into the place they are being called to. As a family we recognize that the door that is opening for us is the ability to create stronger routines to our work, school and play; create a stronger connections on farm to our customers and provide opportunities for a few people to work alongside us. The hard part for me is watching the other doors close. Sometimes that happens in a gentle way and other times it happens in a harsh way that pierces my heart. Praying for patience as we move through the closing doors and accept the ones that open for us.
I considered starting back on day one of the diet. Maybe as a sort of punishment to myself or maybe as a way to “start over” and pretend my cheat never happened. My failures have as much to teach me as my successes so I’ve decided to move forward to stage 2 instead. Because sometimes you just have to move on even when things aren’t perfect.
The only additions this week are ghee and egg yolks, but they will be welcomed with joy.
-Pastured or Wild Caught Meat & Fish
-Well cooked vegetables: broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, onions, leeks, winter and summer squash
-Bone Broth, Stocks (at every meal and in between meals)
-Garlic (I add freshly minced garlic at the end or before re-heating)
-Lots of Distilled Water